Saturday, September 4, 2010

Bitter Tea: Duke Nukem Forever

So we recently got word that Duke Nukem forever is actually, finally, coming out. 12 years of development, a ridiculous amount of engine changes, design changes, and overhauls, and even the cancellation announcement about a year ago. Now, like a confident teen who thinks there is nothing to fear in the dark house getting stabbed in the neck by Jason Voorhees, we've been hit with one of the biggest announcements of gaming history: Duke Nukem Forever is coming out. For real this time.

And I don't like it.

It's not the game or the franchise, not at all. I actually am kind of looking forward to the game itself, but not it's release! I know that sounds crazy, but think about it: 12 years in development! That means we've enjoyed at least 8 years of Duke Nukem Forever jokes! Making references to the development time and the name, referring to the game whenever another game took a long time to develop, and just an over all good amount of nerdy references that helped establish a pecking order at LAN parties around the world!

"Hey, go get more Mountain Dew!"
"Why don't you get it?"
"Because I was THERE when Duke Nukem Forever was using the Quake 2 engine!"
"...dang it."

But that's all going to be gone now! Kids have grown up only knowing the game to be in development, and so what are they going to say? Are they going to screech like the little harpies they are into their XBox LIVE headsets about they hate it and then call my sexuality into question? Are they going to screech like little harpies into their XBox LIVE headsets about how awesome it is and then call my sexuality into question? Will they even know how to respond?

This is changing everything!

What will our new reference be for too long development times? Hmm?
We COULD still use Duke Nukem Forever, since 12 years is a long time, but the beauty of the original reference was that they game was never coming out! It was a hype-machine, and was never going to be released! It was the really nerdy, clever way to say "It's never coming out, but out there, somewhere, they are working on it." But that's gone now.

So fine. Great. Duke Nukem Forever is coming out.
I honestly think it'll be fun...but at what cost?

...At what cost?

1 comment:

  1. I'd say it's more like capturing Bigfoot. It's the death of an urban legend. Some believed it was still in development, some doubted it, but we all embraced the mystery of it all.